iCondemn: Of course there’s an app for that!
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But as a matter of full disclosure, I am not only a Muslim. I am also a member of several other demographic groups, and to the extent that they have done wrong, I suppose it’s only right that I also say a word or two about them.
- As a man, I hereby tender my apologies for the knuckleheads among us who interpret their greater physical strength as a license to dominate, coerce, injure and rape women, and most particularly I apologize for those who think rape is funny or blame the victim. Some of us are morally vacuous, and I renounce them in their sadistic perversion.
- As a “white” person, I apologize for the knuckleheads among us who have interpreted our recent and current comparative technological advantage over people of other races as license to colonize them, enslave them, commit genocide against them, steal their land and wealth, to injure them in a thousand ways, and then to say the All-Merciful God commanded all of this because those people were “inferior” to them and needed civilizing. Some of us are deaf to the lessons of history, and I renounce them and call them to account for the lives they have taken and the civilizations they have blighted or destroyed.
And a right heavy burden at that!
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- As an American, I apologize for the neoconservative knuckleheads among us, in charge of our foreign policy for decades, who learned a little too much from our enemies during and after World War II, and interpret our subsequent emergence as the world’s most powerful nation as license to invade countries in defiance of international law, to overthrow elected heads of state and replace them with murderous dictators, to use bombs, missiles and drones to spill innocent blood, all in the cause of “American global primacy.” Some of us are doing incalculable harm in this effort to stay “on top,” and I look forward to the day (although it may not come in my lifetime) when they will all be identified for what they are and tried for crimes against humanity.
- As a person over fifty, I apologize for the greedy, self-serving corporate knuckleheads of my generation who have interpreted “I can” as “I should” and for the consequent horrific mess we are leaving behind for other generations to endure and clean up. They are responsible for an ecosystem pervaded from the deepest ocean trench to the uppermost reaches of our atmosphere with manmade pollution, for mercury-tainted oceans fast running out of fish, for an era that takes for granted a gradual shrinkage of life as ours took for granted its endless abundance, and I consign them to the fate they have earned. If hell has a ninth circle, let them go there, for they are traitors against all of us — traitors to the trust I believe was laid on us by God.
Let me see what else I am/have, and what that means according to Rupert Murdoch’s logic.
- Lots of British ancestry: Ahem! British Empire. Thing the sun never set on until one day it did. Need I say more?
- Also some German: This guy and everyone who ever followed him. Enough said?
- And a bit of Kickapoo: An inordinate fondness for this stuff, and a corresponding unfondness for white people.
- I’m also heterosexual: Marginalization, oppression and blame of yet another group that differs from the majority, and sometimes acts of violence against that group.
- Married: Disparagement of the moral status of single and divorced people.
- A father: Disparagement of the childless.
- Californian: Whole-wheat angelfood cake and sentences that sound like questions? You know, dude, like this?
- A chess player: Hey! Where's everyone going?
And there you have it. According to the Murdochian admonition, we can all go on our ostrichy way, running across the desert with our heads in the sand until we bonk into something hard and hurt our beaks, or we can all stand up and accept accountability for all the crimes, enormous and nanoscopic alike, of any kind of people with whom we are in any way affiliated.
“Beware the Murdochstrich, my son! The beak that jaws, the madness that claws!...”
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I suppose we could make a game of this. But then, I suppose some of us are already doing so, posturing as tough by making absurd demands (not to mention calumnies and deliberate provocations) on the target people of the day, even as I am making a game of satirizing them....
We call such people demagogues, and they hope we’ll overlook the fundamental principle they’re furiously whisking under the carpet: Each person is accountable for no one but himself. It matters not what our ancestors have done, nor what others of our race, our country, our religion, our age, our occupation are doing or have done. We are not they, and blame is neither transferable nor heritable.
I cannot control others; I can hope only to control myself and do some good and no great evil. I therefore accept responsibility for what I do, and leave responsibility for the actions of other people to them.